Learning about other cultures is stupid and boring, but we're going to do it anyway. Lesson 1: US Citizens

This will be the first in a series of lessons about the many great and varied cultures of the world and what is wrong with or stupid about each of them. Everything will be presented as fact and none of what is written is in the least bit subjective. The purpose of my doing this is ultimately to save you time the next time you have a conversation about people or places; instead of having to think about things and draw your own conclusions you can just borrow mine and regurgitate them as you see fit, much like how most hard-core Republicans parrot Fox Newsisms and Liberal dirtbags do with whatever Obama tells them.

Lesson 1: The US
The US is a large country, predominantly white, that at one point decided that everyone should have the right to do and say whatever they want (which is great). Sadly, that noble basis upon which the country was founded has been twisted into something that has lead people to possess an unbelievable sense of entitlement that makes them think they can have whatever they want, make other people listen to whatever they say and and agree with whatever they do. There is no middle ground reflected in the media. Similarly, there is no longer a place for acceptance of personal responsibilities; everything is someone else's fault.
The people in the US are a largely overweight, monoligual and closed-minded religious lot that choose to believe what they are taught while growing up without regard for how much sense it makes or whether it may or may not be true or even reasonable. Your average American (yes, "American" refers solely to US Citizens) spends most of his or her day watching tv and eating or sitting on his or her ass at work waiting to get home and eat while watching American Idol (including the pre and post show shows).
Like their parents, most children are obese and wear sweatpants.
There are three main colors of Americans with a fourth that seems to be taking over the important roles: White, black, tanish and brownish. White and black people seem to be getting less motivated while the tanish and brownish people are taking their jobs. Hopefully this will eventually lead to more interbreeding of the colors, as mixed white and tan or brown chicks are typically hotter than the average 'pure' of either alone.
Americans as a whole like salt water taffy, turnips and syrupy beverages. Those living in large cities bathe frequently and for the most part refuse to walk even the shortest distances and look down on both public transport and those who use it. Every trip everywhere is made by car, unless you're poor or don't care if people think you're poor.
I will update this post as I learn more about the culture.

Thank God for vacation time (I'd thank Allah but I don't want to get homicide bombed and Joseph Smith is likely too busy with seer stones to care).

After the shittiest week ever I'm now 4 days away from ichiban super action trip fun time play. On Tuesday I head out to Frankfurt for a day or so of dicking around and hopefully making it to a castle or two before going to spend a day in Amsterdam walking around and not really doing much. I don't smoke but maybe I can find some decent beer or liquor to help me pass the time until my flight to London, which was and is the main destination. After London I go to Spain for 3 days where I will rent a car and drive down to see a friend from Belmont who happens to be living there doing something, teaching I think. If you search teh internetz for "Nick in Spain" you'll find his bloggage, which I think makes up 99.9% of the hits you'd get if you had typed in "Herrera del Duque" (where he lives).
Anyway, I used some Delta miles and a lot of planning time to put this together and unless those better-English-than-us Icelanders and their stupid volcanoes screw me over I'm expecting good things. It actually worked out cheaper in terms of both money and miles to add stops in Germany, the Netherlands and Spain and to fly in business and first class than to go directly to and from London while riding in economy. Being somewhat claustrophobic and also a fan of free drinks I'm not going to complain.
But that's enough looking to the future; now it's time to dwell on the past. So far this week I've had my wallet and camera stolen, locked my keys in my car 20 miles from home while replacing cards and such and missed my first two days of work this year due to being sick. Having just drank a large bottle of milk after three big mugs of green tea I think I may be sick again, but fortunately I'm on break at work and the toilets here can take a beating like the Atlantic Wall.
Back to work.