All of my friends suck cocks asses and balls

Well, today is a sad day, not just because I woke up (again), but because today I am canceling my trip to Oktoberfest in Munich and bobsledding in Riga. I have ballin-ass flights and ballin-ass hotels lined up and paid for, thanks to my mountain of frequent flier and frequent guest points, but everyone I know who had expressed interest has backed out. I've got a fucking suite in the Sheraton directly across from the fairgrounds and nobody is willing to pony up a few hundred bucks for a flight over. What the fuck? Weak. So, rather than go alone and all that shit, I'm just going to call it off and save my stuff for a different trip. I do want to go to Riga sometime though, so if anyone is down just holla at yo folk.
Anyway, I'm not sure if it was the Bible or the group Semisonic that said "Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end", but either way in this case it's true. In November I'm going to Tokyo for a day, then Thailand for about 10, then to Hong Kong for 4 before coming back to the festering shit that is my job. Fuck. My job. My job is kind of like my ass; I need it, and ultimately having it pays off, but nothing good ever really comes out of it. Back on topic, Rori if you're reading this, make sure you're down for going out Nov 5th and hitting Indian buffet on the 6th for lunch. The canceling of the lone beerparty 5000 in Germany is being supplanted by a few weeks in the land without crackers. And by crackers I mean white people. You racist fucks.
Other than that nothing much has happened in the last few days, I'm mainly writing this so Lori has something to do for a few minutes. I did decide a couple weeks ago to quit shaving, and I'm not sure how it's working out. What little shit grows on my face seems to be some kind of reddish blonde color, and while I'd like to think it makes me look like Tom Sellick, the reality is it looks more like Glenn Hughes on a heroin binge. Having never let it grow before, I'm curious to see how this will play out; I mean, it can't cause me to be more pathetically single or have fewer girls spending the night, can it? As Thomas Jane in the Punisher said when asked what makes him different than other people who do bad (and in my case ugly dirt squirrel) stuff: "They have something to lose." As far as this is concerned, I don't.
Lately I've been considering writing a book. I have tons of ideas for stuff I think would be hilarious if worked into a larger story, like a movie or book, but so far I haven't put it all together. Something I thought of the other day that absolutely kills me takes place in the gym. Lets say these two dudes are working out, and one of them is having some sort of sexuality issues because he saw his stepfather getting out of the shower and is worried that means he's gay, and now all he sees is cocks everywhere. While he's working out, they move to the dumbbell press, and while this dude is lifting, he keeps imagining that instead of dumbbells he's grasping a dude's cock in each hand, and these dudes are just standing there talking about the weather to each other while he's all freaking out and shit. It then of course snaps back to reality where he's all freaked out and leaves, but walks through the locker room where there are naked dudes all around and he's trying not to look at their junk and shit but can't help it. That would be just one scene in my book/ movie, but the other 400 pages would be more of the same, though with fewer penii. That just seems hilarious to me. There would also be a lot of knocking down small children and old people and acting as if it were a normal part of life and no big deal. Not on purpose, but just as a result of the main character having no regard for others. Say if he were in line at Kroger to pay, and at the last second decided he wanted some Skittles, and then just pushed the cart of the old lady behind him out of the way, causing her to fall. As he turns back around he then accidentally knocks a couple Pepsi two liters onto her face as she lays in the floor unable to get up. Comedy gold. Shit.
It's my bedtime. Peace out.